. . . wanting to become good . . .

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I think God made us all different – incredibly unique.  It amazes me actually.  Almost 7 billion people in the world, and we are all so different.

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I think I am a planter.  I don’t like to weed.  I don’t like to water.  I don’t like the tending to, the day to day maintenance . . . the work.

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I am a planter.  I like to start things.  I like to put the little seed in the ground. . . and walk away.

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It’s crazy to admit, but I don’t even know if, up until recently, I even had a thought as to what the outcome was.  I don’t even think I was made to sow.

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(Maybe because bringing the crop in requires work, too.)

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Sometimes I joke with my children.  I tell them, “God made me to be the queen bee. . . or the queen ant . . do you know what their job is?  They just make the babies.  They don’t work.  They just make more bees – more ants.  That’s it.  They sit in their hole . . . and make babies.  That’s me.  I am the queen.”  We all laugh ~ but deep down, we all know its true.  I am the queen bee.

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Or at least, that is the way I used to look at myself.  I think somewhere along my journey, though, I realized that is not all I want to be.  There is more in me.

There is more to me.

I once read that “the average genius is no genius aat all, but has spent ten-thousand hours honing their craft.  Nobody is born great.  It takes work.”

I don’t know that I have always wanted to do the work.

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I don’t know when it changed ~when I wanted to be good at what I am doing . . . but somewhere along the road, I decided that creating – with my camera and with my words – was something that I wanted to be good at.

Really good.

When I first started taking wedding pictures, I began to wonder if I had something special – if I could be great.  I think I was secretly hoping that there was some super-natural power within me that would jump out of me and get discovered.

It hasn’t happened like that, though.  I am learning that for that thing inside of me – that greatness – for it to be discovered . . . takes work. . . .very hard work.

This leads me to Grace.

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Grace leads me to me.

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There is something inside of me that loves fashion. . . loves make-up. . . loves jewelry . . . loves shoes. . . loves accessories. . . loves hair . . .

There is also something inside of me that hinders me from being able to provide any kind of style for myself.

God made each us unique.  I did not come with the “style” gene.

I did not get the “it’s okay to put bright yellow socks with funky red heels” gene.

I certainly did not get the “boy scout with cut-offs are perfect together” fashion manual.

God gave all those genes to Grace.

She just makes it all work.

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I want to learn though.

I want to be good.

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To become better at my craft – my photography skills – I have to continue to practice.

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Practice the way I see things.

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Practice my ability to see something beautiful in anything.

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This is a personal project.

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This is me – practicing.

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What does it look like when her hands are here?  or here?  or here?

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What does it look like from up here?  from down here?  from over here?

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What happens if you bend our hips this way? or turn your head that way?

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I want to be good . . not just for your sake . . . but for mine.

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I don’t know that we were born “great,” but I do think that there is “greatness” in each of us.

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Thanks for letting me share my “practice set.”

 

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